Poetic License: ‘Name Tag Tag (Six Surnames in Search Of Proper Pronunciation)’
Pachenko?
No, Pacheco.
What kind of name is that?
Puerto Rican.
Puerto Rican? But you speak English!
I was born here. Lousywowski?
No, Wadzaliewski.
What kind of name is that?
Polish.
Polish? But you speak English!
Well, I was born here, like you.
Oh, that explains it.
Pacheeko?
No, Pacheco.
What kinda name is that?
Puerto Rican.
But you speak English!
I was born here. Ouchy grasso?
No, Occhiogrosso.
What kind of name is that? Italian.
Italian? But you speak English!
I was born here, like …
Oh, that’s why.
Potchech?
No, Pacheco.
So what kind of name is that?
Puerto Rican.
But you speak English!
I was born here. Salamiburger?
No, Schlumenberger.
What kind of name is that? Jewish.
Jewish? But you speak English!
And why not? Wasn’t I born here?
Packy-ekos?
No, Pacheco.
Where’s that name from?
Puerto Rico.
But you speak English!
I was born in NYC. Poppadopeyloss?
No, Papadoupolous.
What kind of name is that?
Greek.
But you speak English!
Sure, I’m American born.
O’Pachec?
No, Pacheco.
It’s not Irish?
No, Puerto Rican.
But you speak without an accent!
I was born here. O’Really?
No, O’Reilly.
British name?
No, Irish.
But you speak without a brogue.
I was born in New York, dammit.
Oh, that’s the reason.
Pacheco?
Sí, Pacheco.
Cubano?
No, puertorriqueño.
Buh joo espick Englich!
Porque yo born, nacido aquí, en Nueva York.
O, zas gway joo espeek español fawny!