Faces on Faith: Love
I am writing this reflection on Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is filled with sweet sentiments, often found in cards that people send to their spouse/partner, boyfriend or girlfriend. People send cards with greetings like: “Happy Valentine’s Day to the most special person in my life.” “Valentine, you take my breath away, every single day.” Some people send humorous Valentine’s messages like: “I love you more than pepperoni pizza” and “Here’s to being my emergency contact someday.” Either way, serious or humorous, Valentine’s Day is about a particular kind of love: romantic love. It is the love of warm, fuzzy feelings. It’s expressed in love songs, poetry, and whispers over candlelight dinners. If you have ever been in love, you know how powerful romantic love can be.
But it’s not the only kind of love. People of faith practice another kind of love, and it’s a love that goes way beyond warm, fuzzy feelings. People of faith are called to practice agape love. Agape love is love that seeks what is best, and wants what is best, for the other. And it does not just want what is best for the other that one has warm, fuzzy feelings for. It is love that is a commitment to seek the good and to work for the good and the welfare of others. All others.
Recently I came across this description from christianity.com:
“Agape love is unconcerned with the self and concerned with the greatest good of another. Agape isn’t born just out of emotions, feelings, familiarity, or attraction, but from the will and as a choice. Agape requires faithfulness, commitment, and sacrifice without expecting anything in return.”
Agape love is the kind of love that enables us to live out Jesus’ command to “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you … ” Jesus goes on to say: “if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?” “love your enemies, do good … ” (Luke 6: 27-38)
As people of faith, we strive to practice this kind of love. We seek to embody love that works for what is best for the other, even when the other is someone who has harmed us or with whom we disagree. It equips us to love even people we do not like, and people who are not like us.
But it is not easy. It takes practice. It does not come naturally, like romantic love, but rather it develops and grows over a lifetime of listening, forgiving, being forgiven, praying, engaging, opening (mind and heart), learning and sacrificing. It is not easy, but it is the kind of love that can change our lives and change the world.
The Rev. William “Bill” Van Oss is the rector at Saint Michael & All Angels Episcopal Church.