Shell Shocked: Who is that masked man?
“Who is that masked man?” the stranger asked as he viewed the dust being kicked up by the masked man’s priceless white horse. Another nearby stranger spoke up also. “That’s no ordinary masked man. That’s the Lone Ranger.” And as the magnificent horse rode away the two strangers could hear the masked man cry out “Hi, ho, Silver, away.”
Fast forward six years ago. A man walked into a bank with a mask on. And this was before Covid 19. He approached one of the tellers and handed her a note. The note said “Hand over all your money or you’ll be sorry.”
The teller studied the note and seemed puzzled. “I’m so sorry to interrupt this bank robbery but your handwriting really needs improvement. Your a’s and o’s are indistinguishable. Does this say ‘you’ll be Sally???” I don’t know what this means. My name is Irma. How could I be Sally if I’m Irma?”
The bank robber was getting itchy. He whispered to the teller, “For God’s sake, that’s an “o,” not an “a.” Don’t you know your discursives? An “o” looks much different from an “a.” Didn’t you study handwriting in school? The word is ‘sorry,’ not ‘Sally.'”
While the bank robber and the teller were having this discussion, the police arrived and apprehended the bank robber. The bank robber, while being led away in handcuffs and other restraining devices, asked: “How did I give myself away? I thought I followed all the bank robbery rules and that it was going to be a piece of cake.”
“No, it wasn’t your note to the teller that gave you away,” said one of the arresting officers. “It was your mask that killed the robbery. Someone spotted you walking into the bank with a mask on. Now, mind you, this is 2015, not 2020 when the Covid virus came to the planet earth and caused most people to wear masks. No one wears a mask here in 2015 when entering a bank unless he’s intending to rob it. The snitch that spotted you call 911 immediately and asked ‘Who is that masked man?’ We instantly knew that it was a bank robber and not the Lone Ranger.”
Fast forward again to the present day. A man enters a bank without a mask. The security guard immediately stops the man and says, “Sir, you can’t enter this bank without a mask. You’ve got to put your mask on.”
The man faked astonishment. “But I’m not here to rob the bank. I only want to make a deposit. My name isn’t Willie Sutton.”
The guard said: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s Covid regulations. Everyone who enters this bank must wear a mask for the safety of others.”
The man shrugged his shoulders and put on a mask. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll follow regulations. I understand the need to protect others. I won’t put up a fight about the requirement to wear a mask.”
The man then proceeds to the teller’s window and pulls out a note. It says “Hello, Irma, remember me? I tried to rob this bank six years ago but got caught because I was wearing a mask. I served my prison sentence for a few years and was released on good behavior. So here I am again trying to get the job done. I’m wearing the same mask now as I wore six years ago. But today I’m required to wear a mask. What do you think of that?”
The note went on. “So today my instructions to you are the same as six years ago. Hand over all your money or you’ll be sorry.”
The teller studied the note and said “Are you sure that’s not Sally?”