Faces on Faith: Anger management
As a young boy, I often struggled with what is called “flying off the handle.” Too many times my anger got the best of me. When my temper flared, I sometimes acted out in harmful ways.
Recently, we have witnessed an extraordinary number of mass shootings. Some reports say there have been over 40 people killed in the past months. Unfortunately, for various reasons, people are acting out their anger in harmful ways. Some we call hate crimes, others arise from domestic disputes and still others simply because of the color of their skin. Even religious beliefs can be the target of hate.
So how do we manage our anger? Sometimes speaking the truth in love helps. As I grew older I still struggled with occasional flare ups. One day a few of us were playing baseball. It was a hot summer day and I was the catcher. While waiting for the next pitch I felt water on the back of my head. I quickly turned and saw my friend smiling. Somehow I thought my friend spit on me and instantly I was enraged and acted out by throwing a punch. Other friends quickly broke up the fight and then my best buddy looked me in the eyes with his hand on my shoulder and said, “Larry, he just threw some water on you.” Shame replaced my anger and I could hardly summon the words to say I was sorry. It was a hard lesson, but my attitude changed. Not simply because of shame but the action of my friend who was able to speak the truth in love.
The apostle Paul writes about anger management in his letter to Christians at Ephesus: Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. These are not just words of wisdom. Paul sees anger as human emotion but one that is managed with a new attitude that comes from faith in God. Yes, there is too much hate, but as John the elder says, “There is no fear in love but perfect love cast out fear.” (1 John 4:18). Anger and fear are closely tied together, but the good news is God’s love empowers us to overcome.
So when the opportunity comes, let us choose love over anger and hate. That choice will change our hearts and maybe save a friend.
The Rev. Larry L. Marshall is the pastor at the Captiva Chapel by the Sea.