Shell Shocked: For the sake of art
Once upon a time in a quaint, picture-postcard town, there lived a character named Joe. Joe was known for his unique talent — being utterly clueless about art. When he looked at a masterpiece, he saw a cow instead of a Monet water lily.
One sunny day, Joe took a stroll through the town square and found himself in a high-end art gallery. Trying to fit in with the cultured crowd, he said, “Ah, yes, I see the inner turmoil of the artist here,” while pointing at a blank canvas.
The art dealer, baffled by Joe’s supposed expertise, sold him the most expensive artwork in the gallery — a white canvas with a small dot. Joe thought it was a true work of art.
Realizing he needed to know more about the art of art, Joe decided it was time to cultivate a taste for art. He signed up for an art history class. The first day, the instructor showed a classic painting, and Joe asked, “Is this the before picture of a renovation?” The instructor realized that Joe required more tutoring than the average art history student and kept him after class. He then pulled out all the stops to teach Joe the fundamentals of art education.
Emboldened, Joe decided to put his newfound knowledge to the test by attending an art gala. As he perused the paintings, he loudly critiqued them, saying things like, “This is clearly a self-portrait of the artist as a penguin.” He was promptly asked to leave.
One fateful day, Joe stumbled upon a painting that moved him. It was a beautifully chaotic abstract piece. He couldn’t articulate why he liked it, but he did. Joe had discovered his inner art aficionado.
Over time, Joe developed a genuine appreciation for art. He even painted his own “masterpiece” — his version of a Barbie doll.. He displayed it proudly in his home, calling it “The Essence of Simplicity.” The art world was left baffled, but Joe was content.
Joe began to collect art masterpieces from the likes of Peter Picasso, Charlie van Gogh and Bubba Rembrandt. Yes, art dealers were pulling the wool over Joe’s eyes in getting him to think that these famous last names were the true artists rather than the amateur works of the local butcher, plumber and gardener. Joe may not have become a seasoned art critic, but he did discover that art is subjective and personal. His journey to cultivate a taste for art was more about keeping up with the Joneses than knowing the difference between a Manet and a Monet. Art, after all is said and done, is in the eye of the beholder. And Joe was certainly a card-carrying beholder even if that eye sees a cow and not a water lily.
Art Stevens is a long-time columnist for the Sanibel-Captiva Islander. His tongue-in-cheek humor is always offered with a smile.