Faces on Faith: Be willing to let God, others help with baggage
My wife, Cindy, and my wedding anniversary is now just a handful of weeks away. And for most of our 38 years of marriage, we have had a particular tradition in connection with celebrating that occasion. Each year, we take turns planning a trip to some place different, with the other person having no idea where we’re going until we get there.
Over the years, and as more and more friends, family members and acquaintances have learned of that tradition, we have had a number of destinations recommended to us for future consideration, the most frequent of which in recent years has been … Iceland.
We have consistently been told how warm the people are and how many remarkable natural sites there are to see there. All good. But apparently, those sites have nothing on the ones in Iceland’s airports.
It seems that a couple of years ago, a man trying to fly from Keflavik International Airport in Iceland to England was denied a seat because, in an attempt to avoid paying baggage fees, he simply wore everything he wanted to bring with him — layer upon layer of clothing. He attempted to wear his baggage because he didn’t want to pay for it.
If only that option was available in terms of our emotional and spiritual baggage — the mistakes, shortcomings, regrets and resentments we so often insist on holding tight to; the stuff we can’t let go of wearing — layer after layer — when it comes to our self-image and our relationships with others.
But it’s not. In fact, the opposite is true. The more we insist on wearing that kind of baggage, the more we end up paying for it too. Paying for it with the belief of never being enough or at least good enough. Paying for it with a feeling of hopelessness about tomorrow or the possibility of reconciling a broken relationship. Paying for it with an increasing sense of despair — something that psychologists and social scientists claim has been on a significant rise in our society for some time now.
Instead, we must be willing to let others — other people and God — help us with our baggage. Be willing to open up and let others and God see and lend us a hand with our struggles, fears and disappointments. Allow others and God to serve as our emotional and spiritual “baggage handlers.”
Yes, there is a cost to that — the cost of making ourselves vulnerable in a society that still far too often considers that to be a sign of weakness. But it will end up being a much smaller “baggage fee” to pay than the alternative.
Because God promises that if we do, God will help carry those bags. Or send us someone who will.
The Rev. Dr. Mark Boyea is senior minister at the Sanibel Congregational United Church of Christ.