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Poetic License: ‘Don’t Pat Me Down’

By Staff | Oct 15, 2019

Joe Pacheco

(To the tune of “Don’t Fence Me In” and found in “Sanibel Joe’s Songbook”)

Oh give me miles, frequent miles,

Let me fly the skies above –

Don’t pat me down,

Let me wander over yonder

Just to see the ones I love –

Don’t pat me down.

I won’t mind being compacted

Into rows of threes

With the back of a front seat

To crush my knees,

I can fly like this forever

But I ask you please,

Don’t pat me down.

Unloose my shoes,

You can throttle

My water bottle

As a dangerous device;

But I refuse

To let you grope

Or even scope me

Just to fly your friendly skies.

I want to ride on a plane

Where they won’t inspect me,

And scan my private parts

In order to protect me,

I don’t look Muslim

So how dare they suspect me –

Don’t pat me down.

No, no, Security,

Don’t you pat me down.