Poetic License: ‘Don’t Pat Me Down’

Joe Pacheco
(To the tune of “Don’t Fence Me In” and found in “Sanibel Joe’s Songbook”)
Oh give me miles, frequent miles,
Let me fly the skies above –
Don’t pat me down,
Let me wander over yonder
Just to see the ones I love –
Don’t pat me down.
I won’t mind being compacted
Into rows of threes
With the back of a front seat
To crush my knees,
I can fly like this forever
But I ask you please,
Don’t pat me down.
Unloose my shoes,
You can throttle
My water bottle
As a dangerous device;
But I refuse
To let you grope
Or even scope me
Just to fly your friendly skies.
I want to ride on a plane
Where they won’t inspect me,
And scan my private parts
In order to protect me,
I don’t look Muslim
So how dare they suspect me –
Don’t pat me down.
No, no, Security,
Don’t you pat me down.