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Shell Shocked: Sanibel’s national anthem

By Staff | Sep 26, 2018

Art Stevens

Sanibel needs a national anthem. We would all rise at official Sanibel functions whenever it’s played. I would do as Colin Kaepernik now does. I would drop to one knee to protest the resistance to traffic lights in Sanibel. Only kidding. I would honor and respect the lack of traffic lights by standing up for the playing of the Sanibel national anthem. In fact I would place my hand over my sea shell and sing along.

Every country has a national anthem. So why shouldn’t Sanibel? Aren’t we important enough to merit an anthem that allows us to pay tribute to our island in the sun?

Instead of commissioning our poet laureate Joe Pacheco to write a Sanibel national anthem, we could save money by simply borrowing from well-known national anthems, such as our own “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

“Oh say can you see, any Red Tide on me. What so proudly we hail, at the Timbers’ last steaming.

“Oh say does that Sanibel banner still wave? O’er the land of the tee and the home of the depraved.”

What about the French national anthem “La Marseilles?” “Allons enfants de la Periwinkle, le jour de blackened fish est arrive. Oo, la, la, c’est magnifique, C’est la vie en rose.”

Let’s get back to English. There’s always the old standby – the British national anthem, “God Save the Queen.”

“God save our gracious Mayor.

Long live our noble Mayor.

Send him victorious

Happy and glorious

Make our water healthy again.

Make us hurricane free.

Scatter our enemies

And make them eat blackened fish.”

Let’s now hopscotch the globe and borrow the national anthem of Liberia:

“All hail, Sanibel, hail.

This glorious land of liberty.

Though new her name.

Great be her fame.

Long live Sanibel, you happy land.

Bring on Lee County.

We’ll fight ’til the end.”

From “God Bless America,” we get:

“God bless Sanibel, land that I love

From Ding Darling, to Mucky Duck

To the Timbers, far from home

God bless Sanibel, my genome sweet genome.”

We can also borrow lyrics from popular songs that honor regions of the country. For example:

“Sanibel, Sanibel, here I come.

Right back where I started from

Open up that causeway bridge

Sanibel, here I come.”

“We’ll have Manhattan, the Bronx

And Sanibel Island, too.

It’s lovely going through Big Arts

The great big Sanibel’s a wondrous toy

Just made for a girl and boy

We’ll turn Sanibel

Into an isle of joy.”

And from Chicago we bring you:

“Sanibel, Sanibel, that toddlin’ town, that toddlin’ town.

Sanibel, Sanibel, I’ll show you around, I love it.

Betcha bottom dollar you’ll lose your blues.

In Sanibel, Sanibel

The town that Francis Bailey would not shut down.”

And, finally, another Sanibel national anthem option taken from one of America’s most revered songs:

“My Sanibel tis of thee.

Sweet land of blackened fish.

Of thee I sing.

Land where my parents dined.

Land where my talent declined.

From the entire daily grind.

Let the toll booths ring.”

I can hardly wait for the referendum to take place which will select our new Sanibel national anthem. And I invite you to join me in its singing during the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics scheduled to take place in Sanibel in 2096. Don’t forget to vote.