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Shell Shocked: The fake in fake news

By Staff | Apr 26, 2017

The Trump campaign and administration have forced all of us to take a hard look at what is truth and what is fake news.

Here’s a rundown of truths and fake news about Sanibel:

Truth: Timbers is on Tarpon Bay Road.

Fake news: Timbers serves Thursday night specials of fried worms and grilled porcupine.

Truth: Ding Darling boasts of all sorts of wild life.

Fake news: Tyrannosaurus and Neanderthals can be found roaming in the deep forests of “Ding” Darling.

Truth: Blackened fish is served at many Sanibel restaurants.

Fake news: Blackened fish is mixed with tar, asbestos, dandelion seeds and quinine.

Truth: There are many predictable sea shell species found on the beaches of Sanibel.

Fake news: The remnants of Moby Dick were recently found on the beach at Sanibel.

Truth: The Bailey family are considered early pioneers of Sanibel.

Fake news: The attorney F. Lee Bailey is the grandfather of Francis Bailey.

Truth: Vice President Pence was a recent visitor to Sanibel.

Fake news: Vice President Pence was a recent visitor to Sanibel.

Truth: Sanibel traffic can be very heavy during the winter season.

Fake news: One out of every third car crossing the causeway to Sanibel is turned back.

Truth: Sanibel sea shells are often rare treasures.

Fake news: Sanibel beaches are covered with peanut shells and pizza crust.

Truth: The Sanibel City Council is a non-partisan body serving the community’s best interests.

Fake news: Sanibel City Council members are secret secessionists demanding that Sanibel be the 51st state.

Truth: Sanibel is best known for its balance between commercial and environmental interests.

Fake news: Taco Bell, McDonald’s and Pancake House have all submitted their applications to build outlets on Periwinkle.

Truth: Donald Trump is quite happy with his Mar-a-Lago estate and has no plans to create another Florida White House.

Fake news: One hundred acres of Ding Darling have been earmarked for a second Florida Trump White House.

Truth: How can anyone possibly believe anything Art Stevens says?

Fake news: Art Stevens is an objective, respected journalist.

-Art Stevens is a long-time columnist for The Islander. His tongue-in-cheek humor is always offered with a smile.