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Shell Shocked: Bucket Lists Revisited

By Staff | Oct 18, 2013

Ever since I saw the movie “The Bucket List,” about two aging men who decide to try things they’ve never done before, I made my own to-do list. As adventurous a life as my memory bank tells me I’ve had, I also realize that there were many things I’d never done before. Among them are:

1. I’ve never been in a war.

2. I’ve never played the violin.

3. I’ve never made love to Brigitte Bardot.

4. I never threw a fast ball past Ted Williams.

5. I’ve never been in a submarine.

6. I’ve never been chased by a bear.

7. I’ve never robbed a bank.

8. I’ve never climbed Mount Everest.

9. I was never mayor of New York.

10. I’ve never been shot at.

11. I’ve never been divorced.

12. I never ran for public office.

13. I never sky dived out of a plane.

14. I never swam the English Channel

15. I’ve never had an audience with Queen Elizabeth.

16. I never had my appendix removed.

17. I’ve never been to India.

18. I never won the Nobel Prize.

19. I’ve never had my home broken into.

20. I never won Publishing Clearing House millions.

21. I never grew a beard or a mustache.

22. I never collected stamps or coins or match books.

23. I’ve never been to the moon.

24. I never lived on the Bowery.

So much for those things I haven’t done. Now what about those things I actually did do.

1. I had my tonsils removed.

2. I’ve been to Des Moines, Iowa.

3. I’ve been to the Bronx.

4. I won a sixth grade spelling bee.

5. I played Nick Sherlock in the high school production of “The Mystery of Moldy Manor.”

6. I played the “Moonlight Sonata” on the piano when I was twelve.

7. I took a helicopter tour of Baltimore.

8. I was once pick pocketed in a New York City office building elevator.

9. I wandered through the Casbah in Marrakesh.

10. I was once a teenager.

11. I sang “Mairzy Doats and Dozy Doats” in my third grade class.

12. I read “The Amboy Dukes” when I was thirteen.

13. I once tobogganed down a hill.

14. I once bought a house in Sanibel.

There’s plenty left to be done. I can still dream about climbing Mt. Everest while settling into a La-Z-Boy recliner with a glass of robust Cabernet.