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Redneck Games, Family Fest set for Labor Day

By Staff | Sep 1, 2012

Get ready for some toilet seat and remote control tossing, peanut spitting and more “redneck” fun. The inaugural Labor Day Family Festival & Redneck Games will be held on Labor Day, Sept. 3, at the German American Club on Pine Island Road.

It’s a day of family fun, with a $2 admission and free parking.

The North Fort Myers Chamber of Commerce is hosting the games, a signature event for them.

“This will be a wonderful family friendly event and priced right so that most families can come and enjoy the day together as a family,” said NFM Chamber Executive Director Chris Jackson. “Unlike some community events, the Lee County Labor Day Family Festival & Redneck Games are very interactive, with something for all ages. Kids can throw some bean bags into tires or do a kid friendly obstacle course. Adults can roll some tires into trashcans in our ‘backyard bowling’ or play some toilet seat horseshoes.”

Among the happenings scheduled are a Hot Rod and Classic Car show, arts and crafts, local business exhibits, lots of kids activities, a variety of food vendors, a beer garden, prizes, raffles and more. There will be music all day long, from the Skeeterland Band, Chateau Bayou and John Nichols Music. There also will be “Redneck Wiener Dog Races.”

And, of course, there will be the actual “redneck games” going on all day, for both adults and children, which include Toilet Seat Horseshoes and the “Redneck Six-tathlon.”

“The signature event will be our Redneck Six-tathlon where men and women will compete in a timed event where our brave participants roll and stack tires, toss a remote control into a tire, eat a Spam sandwich, hang up some wet laundry, roll the tires back and ring the redneck dinner bell (hit a hubcap with a fly swatter). This event will cost participants $5 to complete.”

The contests are causing some public stir as they approach the event, he said.

“We have contests for the largest tattoo; the best mullet – that’s hair not fish; the biggest hair; and the one that everyone sort of cringes at, and I totally understand why, is the scariest hairiest back contest. It’s sort of like a car accident; you don’t want to look but you have to. We expect to pull some women out of the audience to pick the winner of this contest.”

Some details on contests:

* From 12:05 p.m. to 12:20 p.m. there will be a Best Mullet Contest – hair, not fish, said officials. The mullet is a hairstyle that is short at the front and sides, and long in the back and in this contest, it is all about style and claiming your Bad Mullet Self. It is open to men and women.

* From 2 to 2:30 p.m., Scariest, hairiest back contest Although a bit disturbing, this competition is just as it sounds: the hairiest back wins. Open to both men and women.

Schedule of events:

On the Main Stage all day: Entertainment and contests

* 10 a.m.: Opening ceremony, Pledge of Allegiance and Star Spangled Banner sung by Amy Carothers

* 10:05 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.: John Nichols Music

* 10:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m.: Chateau Bayou

* 11:30 a.m. to 11:50 a.m.: Calendar Girls Redneck Dance presentation

* Noon to 12:05 p.m.: Calendar Girls “SPAMTASTIC Salute to SPAM’s 75th Anniversary”

* 12:05 p.m. to 12:20 p.m.: Best Mullet Contest (hair not fish). Open to men and women.

* 12:20 to 1 p.m.: Skeeterland Band

* 1 p.m. : Wiener Redneck Dog races

* 1:05 to 1:20 p.m.: Largest tattoo contest. Open to both men and women

* 1:20 to 2 p.m.: Skeeterland Band

* 2 to 2:30 p.m.: Scariest, hairiest back contest; Although a bit disturbing, this competition is just as it sounds: the hairiest back wins.

Open to both men and women. Sponsored by Creel Tractor

* 2:30 to 2:50 p.m.: Biggest hair contest; the winner of this contest will be crowned based on how high their hair stands above the top of the head.

* 2:50 p.m. to close: John Nichols Music

The Wiener Redneck Dog races at 1 p.m. will take place with the help of Florida Wiener Dog Derby Inc.

“We’re going to have exhibition races to promote the Florida Wiener Dog Derby which will be held Saturday, March 23, at the Lee Civic Center,” said Doug Dailey, founder.

The group has a mascot, Tex, Dailey’s own mean, lean racing machine. Will Tex be “a redneck” when he races that day?

“You’ll see when you get there,” Dailey said.

“The Calendar Girls have put together a special presentation for us,” said Jackson. “In addition to doing a dance presentation that honors country music and the rednecks, they will be presenting a very special ‘Spamtastic Salute to Spam’ to honor Spam’s 75th anniversary. That is good stuff!”

For information, call the chamber at 997-9111 or go to nfmchamber.com.