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Shell Shocked: A schedule of Sanibel’s upcoming events that you won’t want to miss

By Staff | Mar 9, 2011

There is so much going on in Sanibel this time of year. We’d like to offer our guests and visitors an updated schedule of “must do” activities during the next few weeks.

• March 12 – Sanibel welcomes the first of our spring break visitors.

• March 13 – Sanibel police arrest the first round of spring break visitors.

• March 15 – The Optimists Club will practice drinking from glasses that are half full and destroy any glasses that are half empty.

•March 17 – The Sanibel Writers Club will conduct a mass public burning of Art Stevens’ columns.

• March 19 – Jacaranda Restaurant will extend its “Happy Hour” from 4 p.m. to 8 a.m. the following morning.

• March 20 – The Midnight Cruise scheduled last Jan. 19th has been rescheduled for Feb. 4th. This is as fast as news can be delivered by the ship’s captain. Please plan accordingly.

• March 21 – The gentle yoga class normally scheduled at the Rec Center has been cancelled and is being replaced by a gentle mud wrestling class.

• March 22 – The Shell Museum will exhibit its latest rare find: Jimmy Hoffa’s clavicle.

• March 24 – The Night Sky Astronomy Cruise will examine life on Mars and critique its restaurants.

• March 25 – The Danny Sinoff Quartet at Ellington’s will forego its normal evening of jazz in place of Bach fugues, Strauss waltzes and the movie theme from “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.”

• March 26 – This week’s Zonta meeting will reintroduce intelligence tests to its members to help weed out near geniuses.

• March 26 – The CROW “Walk on the Wild Side” will explore the natural habitats of Sanibel’s tyrannosaurus population plus an interview with young Tim Tyrannosaurus who will be the starting center of the FGCU basketball team this fall.

• March 27 – To outdo the very generous Jacaranda “Happy Hour” promotion, Doc Ford’s announced that it’s April 12th Early Bird Special will begin at 3 a.m. and will feature corn flakes and margaritas.

• March 29 – BIG ARTS will feature an exhibit of Neanderthal art to be followed one week later by Rosenthal art.

• March 31 – The monthly Art Walk will feature the doodling of this year’s City Council members which will then be publicly psychoanalyzed by Sanibel’s own Dr. Sigmund Freud, IV, followed by a doodle debate to be broadcast over Twitter.

• April 1 – Local writer Charles Sobczak will autograph his new book “A Natural Guide to Scotch Tape” and will provide historical anecdotes on the use of Scotch tape in Sanibel political campaigns.

• April 3 – The Captiva Erosion Prevention District invites the community to a fund-raising barbecue on its ten-inch wide beach.

• April 4 – The weight room at the Rec Center will be closed for one day. It was just too heavy.

• April 5 – Local accounting firms will put on a seminar on the principles of successful tax evasion along with a legal defense fund back up plan.

• April 6 – “Ding” Darling will unveil its new “Jungle Habitat” featuring Tarzan, Jane and Boy.