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Poetic License: No Team Like Our Dames

By Staff | Jan 26, 2011

(Dedicated to the Dunes Dames Tennis Team)

Chorus of Husbands, Tennis Widowers and Significant Others:

We got sunlight, beach and shells,

A golf course near the sea,

We got oranges and mangoes

You can pick right off the tee,

There’s no volleyball, no ping-pong

Or other dandy games,

The best thing we got:

We got Dunes Dames!

They don’t sit around at home,

Or return things to the mall,

They are taking tennis clinics

In how to pound the ball,

They are learning how to serve

And hit their forehands well,

What don’t they do?

Well, we won’t tell.

We thought they had no one left

to dress up for and flirt with,

But now they’ve got a team

to wear a matching top and skirt with.

There is no team like our Dames

Nothing like our girls,

There is no team you can name

That is anything like our Dames!

They’re relentless when they play

As we watch in shock and awe,

They’re so busy breaking service,

They might even break a law.

When they taste a victory

Like Little Red Riding-hood,

How do they feel?

They feel damn good!

Lots of things in life are beautiful, but misters,

there is no particular thing more rewarding

than victory in any way, shape or form

over their sisters.

There is no team like our Dames,

Nothing like our girls,

There is no team you can name

That is anything like our Dames!

No team else can play the same

No team in the world,

That can wield their racket frames

With the artistry of our Dames.

There is absolutely no team

that can wave frames like our Dames.

We’re not saying that their tennis

Is completely free of flaws,

There are times when they are broken

And don’t deserve applause,

It’s a waste of time to worry

Just because they missed a shot,

Get ready to cheer, when they get hot!

There is no team you can name

That is anything like our Dames.

There are no wives like our Dames,

With the vibes of our Dames,

No others fight like our Dames

With the might of our Dames,

No team acts like our Dames,

Or attracts like our Dames.

There is nothing wrong with anyone here

That can’t be cured by having them cheer

Our winning, womanly, champion, feminine Dames!

(From Sanibel Joe’s Songbook)