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Three glasses of red wine and four boxes of chocolate

By Staff | Aug 27, 2009

Carol Simontacchi is one of the Islander’s best and most knowledgeable life style educators and columnists. I devour her columns regularly to find new ways to increase my odds for a longer life. Carol is providing me with all the tips I’ll need to achieve my goal – to live to the age of 120. Her recent column on the benefits of red wine and chocolate may allow me to exceed my goal and live as long as Methuselah. Wouldn’t that be something?

The title of Carol’s recent column was “One glass of red wine and a box of chocolate.” It sure got my attention. That’s why I’m raising the ante with this column’s title. I have no degree or license to practice life style education. But that won’t stop me from urging all of you to keep filling up your glasses with red wine and nibble on more chocolate.

If you do then you, too, can live to be 120. For many of you that number would be more than double or triple- your present age. Borrowing a term from pregnancy, that would only put you in the second trimester of life at the present time. If you can imagine living another 60 or 80 years drinking three glasses of red wine and munching on four boxes of chocolate every day then mortality will be almost light years away. Carol’s recommended regimen sure beats cod liver oil.

Let’s assume that you’re currently 60 years old. If you live another 60 years that would take you to the year 2069. Or looking at it another way you would live long enough to vote for 15 U.S. presidents, attend sixty more World Series, marvel at a star turn to be done in a 2050 movie by Drew Barrymore’s granddaughter to continue the Barrymore family acting tradition, be cured of the common cold, travel back and forth to the new Moon Hilton, and be wowed by the never aging rock group the Rolling Stones. I think Mick Jagger will be one of the chosen ones who will live far into the next century.

It just might be that by the year 2069 the mortality rate might very well be up to 120. That means that a 90-year-old will still be playing tennis, running on the beach, playing with his great, great, great grandchildren and worrying if his social security payments will continue for the rest of his life.

Carol, do you see where your health tips are taking us? And it’s all because of red wine and chocolate. Given our longer lives we will be around to witness significant changes in Sanibel during the next 60 years. We can expect more close calls on our annual hurricane patterns. and occasional bull’s eyes as well. BIG ARTS will become Bigger Arts. The tolls on the causeway will be adjusted for inflation and will be $50 one way.

Blackened fish will continue to be the culinary prize of Sanibel restaurants. And new exotic breeds of turtles will hatch on our beaches. The environmentalists will win out over any attempt to overbuild our island and “Ding” Darling will be teeming with migrant birds that will flock to Sanibel from throughout the world for our tender loving care.

The Islander will still be published but not in newspaper form anymore. My column as well as Carol’s will be read off screens or retina implants.

The year 2069 will mark the 100th anniversary of both the Jets and Mets Super Bowl and World Series upsets. Those of us who are still around in 2069 will have dim memories of the Second World War, Iraq, Afghanistan, President Barrack Obama, Britney Spears and Michael Jackson. However, we will forever be watching movies with Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart and James Cagney.

The annual showing of the Frank Capra classic “It’s A Wonderful Life” will still be on whatever modern form television takes. And I truly trust that an annual visit by Santa Claus will continue to be anticipated by children of all ages everywhere. Civilization, as we know it, would never be the same without Santa.

Carol, we all owe you big time for showing us how red wine and chocolate can lead to good health and longevity.