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Father nature to the rescue

By Staff | Jun 11, 2009

Now that some rain is falling in Sanibel we can all breathe a sigh of relief. There’s nothing like the feeling of wet rain drops pounding on your roof to chase the blues away.

We are so prone to the whims of Mother Nature that our very lives always seem to hang in the balance. Do you think if Mother Nature were replaced by Father Nature that he would be just as whimsical and continue to play with our fears and emotions?

I think it’s time that Mother Nature goes back to playing mahjong with the other female forces of nature and allow Father Nature to take over especially in Sanibel.

I personally could relate more to Father Nature than to Mother Nature. I’ve always been intimidated by Mother Nature. She’s like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz. Mother Nature likes to taunt us, play tricks on us and get us when we least expect it. How else can you explain sudden tornados, earthquakes, forest fires, floods and hurricanes?

Let Mother Nature finish her 50-billion year-old tour of duty on earth and have Father Nature take over. He’d be much more understanding. He wouldn’t permit mere rain storms to cancel an important World Series game. He wouldn’t permit brush fires in Sanibel during the dry days of winter. And he certainly wouldn’t permit hurricanes to interfere with school classes in Sanibel. What could be more important windy and rainy weather or the education of our children?

Now does this sound like a gender issue? Am I to be accused of being a male chauvinist pig? Facts are facts. It’s been under Mother Nature’s watch that all hell has broken loose on earth. Entire cities have been wiped out and thousands of people killed just because Mother Nature decided to have some fun with us and pay us back for not respecting her more.

Father Nature will take an entirely different approach. He’ll control the elements better. And he’ll pick his spots. Father Nature won’t be spiteful and unpredictable the way Mother Nature often has been. Father Nature will see to it that hurricanes stay in the oceans, that earthquakes take place in the least populated areas, like northern Canada; that the stuff that comes out of volcanoes isn’t molten lava but merely luke warm chocolate.

That floods take place in Greenland and that tornados take a long deserved eternal vacation. Father Nature likes sports so he’ll make sure that there are no rain-outs. Father Nature likes outdoor concerts so Bruce Springsteen or Paul McCartney, don’t worry about rain dates. Your concerts will go on as scheduled.

Now mind you, there will be an inevitable clash between Mother Nature and Father Nature. She will say that he’s far too soft and accommodating. He will say that she’s suffering from battle fatigue. He’s been waiting in the wings for billions of years and now that his time has come you can expect nitpicking and criticism.

Mother Nature will say he’s too considerate and generous that people on earth don’t deserve coddling and special treatment. Father Nature will be polite but tell her that she’s needed back at the mahjong table.

Mother Nature will say that Sanibel needs a good scare once in a while so that it doesn’t get too complacent. She will say that a good hurricane is needed every so often to keep Sanibel on its toes.

Father Nature says that she’s already made a mess of things on earth and that its inhabitants have more than paid the price for it. Father Nature says that he now needs to clean up her mess for the next billion years. He maintains that his role is to better harness the forces of nature and allow for a kinder, gentler planet.

Mother Nature issues a warning. She tells Father Nature that she’ll be looking over his shoulder that she can always get another fourth for mahjong. But Father Nature gently reminds her that he won the election fair and square and that his time has now come. He tells her to collect her pension and go give speeches. Father Nature has his work cut out for him. Can we take him at his word or will Mother Nature try to get her power back? Stay tuned for the next billion years and find out.